HEIDI FLEISS was the world's number one Madam-at-large in the early 90's. In her 20's she organised hook-ups with a celebrity elite in LA we can only imagine, since you can be sure she's not telling who. Telling would have got her out of a lot of trouble and maybe out of prison too, but post being busted, banged up, hounded by the press and vilified by those who did and didn't know her, Heidi is still silent on the who's who of "the best job on earth", and has a wry take on the path of life she chose to take.
I didn't realise Heidi and I are exactly the same age. When I think of the prat I was in my 20's, that I prided myself on carrying out 'dares' I would set myself it all looks like such small fry when you compare them with the fearlessness of a young woman who jumped feet-first into a sexual underworld which she managed to conquer within months but which was destined to inevitably implode.
Maybe it was the precocity of youth because she wouldn't be able to do it all again now, "I can't believe I even did what I did...no wonder I became a drug addict, it was all so intoxicating." For the girl who ran a babysitting ring at school, apparently the next logical step was to organise a mutually agreeable business dealing in consensual sex between beautiful women and rich, successful men. "I wasn't sending strange girls to strange hotel rooms, these were adults making adult decisions. It was like a blind date."
But being the best meant that Heidi made a lot of enemies among the old school. "I had so many enemies, I had cornered the market, people got jealous..." Quoted as saying that she made her first million within four months of going into business, how did it feel to have everything taken away? "The day I got arrested I was sitting outside my house by the pool and I thought, how did I mess up the best job on earth? I felt so low and stupid.."
Historically, the sex industry is painted as one which exploits women, for the most part controlled by men and for their gratification, although the Madams have always been part of the scenario, for a woman, especially such a young, confident one to have had so much power, one can't help but feel that Heidi was made an example of. Our own Cynthia Payne became almost a British Institution, probably due to her cosy, mumsy air and there's nothing soft or cosy about Heidi, she's pretty tough, has had to be. Three years in the penitentiary with women who are going to spend their life there for their sins must have been a scary time, "It was crazy. It happened and I'm not angry about it. It was an interesting experience."
It's also interesting that until recently Heidi was determined to open a Stud Farm in Nevada, where prostitution is legal - to service women. Perhaps tired of second guessing the needs of men and although arguably women might be less simple to please, the idea that women "would like the excitement of driving for an hour to get laid" is an interesting one. Unfortunately "with the downturn in the economy, the climate's just wrong. It would work because I know this business, but the time and investment it would take to do it right, it's not worth it. You might as well make money elsewhere." I would have loved to see the success of Heidi's Stud Farm, as an exercise in turning the tables it would have been a brilliant coup, but it seems to have had the effect of souring the whole industry for her.
"I moved to this rural community to get back into the sex industry but then I realised I had no interest in it." My favourite Heidi quote is this, "I think a lot of people are dying to get into the sex industry, but they're all creepy." It's so funny for someone so immersed in that industry to vocalise what most of us outside of it actually feel. Which I think is what sets Heidi apart from it. She has a sense of humour and a sense of the ridiculous. Where most people you might see interviewed from that world (see Nick Broomfield's documentary Heidi Fleiss Hollywood Madam for example) and how serious and frankly creepy they are, then there's Heidi throwing away the line, "I hate the sex industry, it's boring." I've always loved Heidi's smile when you see her interviewed. She's got one of those naughty ones which absolutely lights up her face and belies the tough broad with a head for business.
She's a driven business woman however you look at it. She has a coin-op laundromat in Vegas called "Dirty Laundry" - you've gotta love that! Then there was her foray into leisurewear at the height of the media frenzy surrounding her: Heidi Wear. Now, I've had a fascination bordering on obsession with Heidi Wear ever since the glimpses of it in the Nick Broomfield documentary afore-mentioned. As I remember it was kind of printed a bit like the Lonsdale classic logo and it has been a dream of mine to one day own a sweatshirt. I have Heidi on tape promising to send me exactly that and I shall use it in evidence!!!! Seriously though, that was an exciting moment! We rapped a bit about the rigours of the boutique business and I felt slightly ridiculous after saying "Exactly!" when she compared it to like being in prison. She'd know, and I clearly wouldn't!
So I wonder what next for Heidi? "Yeah right, where's the next chapter going?...I never thought it'd be tropical birds and Death Valley." She's referring to the Macaws she shares her life with, what she calls her "pimpin' birds, the top of the line...it's madam-slang." They were thrust upon her, bequeathed in fact when an ageing ex-madam who was her neighbour in the desert died and left them for her to look after, "and now they have my heart."
I didn't want to trawl around the internet looking for a picture to accompany this piece, I asked her to send something taken on her iPhone or whatever, something that she actually likes. The photo above is what Heidi sent and I think it speaks volumes. First of all, the lack of ego is quite shocking. Where's the airbrushed publicity photo? In fact, where's the face???? But it speaks of her depth of feeling for these birds , these scratchy articles that you can't cuddle.
"Sure, would I rather be in Beverly Hills in a relationship with a remote control, a jacuzzi, sure, of course I would but no, I'm here with bird shit all over me, but it's fine because I love these birds and I'll never turn my back on them. Most of all my birds have been abused, they fly around my property, they talk, they call me Barbara."
I comment that a chihuahua might be a more appropriate companion for a Hollywood madam, "Those fancy poodles or yorkies or whatever, those are like pacifiers. I do everything as difficult as possible. The one I love the most, Gina, she bites the hell out of me."
The "making money elsewhere" seems to have come around to the reality TV circuit. I was beside myself when I found out they had secured Heidi to appear on Celebrity Big Brother! I hate those shows but of course was hooked. The question of why she did it crossed my mind many times. Most celebrities have a desperate agenda to somehow set straight the "record" or it's a public relations exercise but Heidi has always seemed to me someone who is blissfully impervious to public opinion. "I can't care what people think, with my reputation, I have to do whatever I'm gonna do." How could I say no? The money was too good." Back to the cold, hard cash... and the honesty. "Most people do stuff for money but they're too ashamed to admit it, they want to act like there's something else. There's always financial interest, always money."
I was glad to hear that she's stayed in touch with some of the housemates though, "I'm actually seeing Steven Baldwin this weekend, that bible-thumping freak...and Stephanie called me last week, and I'm going for dinner in LA with Vinny and his wife."
Not content of course to drift from one reality show to another she has her own ideas for a new show. Best of luck with that and with the next chapter, "I'm 44...I feel like I'm 500!" I can relate on some level, sometimes I feel like a knock-kneed knackered old cow after a trying week with the twins but I can only imagine the highs and lows of Heidi, the best and worst of times...but let them be good times here on in...